Commitment in a relationship is like a rubber band. Picture two people encircled by a large, flexible, but strong, rubber band. The band allows each to pull away and come back comfortably and to twist and turn individually. However, the fact of the band remains constant. Each knows the other is there regardless of the comings, goings and twists. I liken the going out and back and the "twists" to people living their own lives and trying out new aspects of their personalities while always having the bond of the commitment there to hold them. The bond actually enables more individuation to happen, on the one hand, and a deepening of the relationship, on the other. VLF